I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
