i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
