So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
