I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
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