I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
