It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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