Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
