we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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