Do you still have your period?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
