I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
