I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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