Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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