You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
