He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
