please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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