I CAN MOONWALK!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
