Fuck appropriateness.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
