I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
