you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
