Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
