OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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