it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
