none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
