She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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