Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
