I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
