im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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