The maid of honor just puked.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
