I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
