i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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