those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
please come you make the beer taste better
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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