ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
