drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
