ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
