...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
