I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
