i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
