I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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