We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
