Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
