i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
