So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
do nipples grow back?
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