College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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