Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
