We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
