The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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