yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
