and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
