If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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