I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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